I found out I was pregnant in April of 2004. I was in complete shock. Isn't birth control supposed to have some kind of "control" over things like this?! Never the less, I was very excited. I was trying to figure out how to go about telling my mom the news, when she broke some news of her own. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. My world was turned upside down. What was I going to do if I lost my mom? I was an only child of a single mother. A mother that I was depending on to give me advice about being a mother myself. My mom underwent tons of tests, scans, and procedures in the following weeks. I still had no idea how I was going to tell her that she was going to be a grandmother. There was really no good way to bring it up at a time like this. As I was looking at Mother's Day cards, I accidentally picked up a "Happy Mother's Day Grandma" card. THAT was how I was going to tell her. I couldn't wait until Mother's Day to give it to her! I went right over to her house. She had her port put in that day to get her ready for chemo, so she was a little out of it. It took me about 5 minutes to wake her up, and I told her I had a card for her. She said "Just read it to me. I'm sleepy...and a little sh-tu-pit (stupid).". Those must have been some good drugs! I said "NO! You have to read it!". So she opened one eye and skimmed through the card. I got no reaction out of her, so I tossed her the pregnancy test. She about fell out of her chair! I think she thought she was dreaming...or maybe HOPED she was!
Here it was...my first appointment. The first time I heard his heartbeat:) I can honestly say that was the moment I fell in love. It was the most amazing thing I had ever heard. Then my doctor sprung it on me...there might be 2 heartbeats! TWINS?! There was a possibility, but my doctor was not going to do a sono until my next visit. How can you leave someone hanging like that?! So there I was...POSSIBLY pregnant with twins that I was convinced were girls. How could they not be girls? I was a girl, the only child of a single mother, and knew nothing about little boys. God would NOT leave me in charge of raising a boy. No way, no how...He just wouldn't! I picked out a really cute nursery theme, pink paint, and most importantly...the names! All of this in a matter of days! My twins...my girls...were to be named Kylie and Addisyn. Kylie was after a model named Kylie Bax. I just loved that name:) And Addisyn was the daughter of our former vet. I had seen the announcement of her birth about 7 years prior, and was bound and determined to steal that name! Addisyn Irish...it had a nice ring to it:) At the next appointment I found out I was having a singleton. Not bad news, but I got used to the idea of having 2 little girls running around the house. Kylie was marked off of list, so it was set...Addisyn Alivia was due New Year's Eve. At this point my mom was finishing up with chemo. It was really hard on her, but she stood strong. We shared some great memories. When I say "great" I'm most definitely being sarcastic. We were both puking our guts out on a daily basis! We would take turns...tag teaming between the toilet and the trash can. But things were looking up. Mom was nearing the end of chemo, and then it was on to radiation.
Let's fast forward to the next appointment. THE appointment. To make sure all was well, and see if the little bean...that was now noticeably a baby...was a he or a she. I knew the answer to that. Or so I thought. The sono tech started the ultrasound, and I fell in love all over again. She scanned and measured, and assured us that everything was perfect. She asked me if I wanted to know what I was having, and I told her I already knew. Just about that time, she moved the doppler and the baby's legs shot open, and she said "So you see that?". NOOOO! If there's a "that" that means it's not a girl! Addisyn has a "that". That's like a boy named Sue! This could NOT be happening. Then the sono tech added "He's rather large. I'm guessing a birth weight of 9-10 pounds. You have BIG, healthy boy!". Then it happened. I burst into tears. I might could have held them back until I got home, after all, I was already in love with my baby...boy or girl. But a 9-10 pound baby?! I quit! My mom was SO excited. I believe she screamed...rather loudly...and got on the phone right away to call all of the family. I'm sure everyone in the waiting room heard her conversations, and knew that this was the first boy our family would welcome in a very long time. It gave her something to fight for. And for that I was grateful.
The following day I went out in search of new bedding, new paint, and new names. I found a really cute jungle theme. The colors were great, and the theme was uni-sex...you know, just in case the sono tech was wrong:) I was still convinced that what we had seen was a cord and not a penis, but I had to be prepared "just in case". So on to the names. I must have sat in Barnes & Noble for a good 2 hours looking through baby name books. As I was nearing the end of my second Vanilla Bean Frap I found it! THE name. Jackson. I didn't want to spell it the traditional way, because I knew I would call him Jacks for short. Jacks?...Really? I didn't like it. So Jaxon it was! I wanted an Irish middle name...don't ask me why. I have an obsession with anything Irish. Weird. Any who...I came up with Connor. The perfect little Irish name:) I was once told that before you name your child you should stand at the back door and yell it at the top of your lungs. Let's face it...one day you'll have to do it, no matter how "perfect" your child is, and you don't want to be caught yelling something like "Soleil Moon Frye". Poor child. So I did the test, and it passed. "Jaxon Connor" it was.
September 15, 2004 I received the best birthday present EVER! My mom was cancer free! She could now enjoy the days leading up to her grandson's birth. I tried to convince my doctor to induce me at every appointment from 34 weeks on. I really didn't think I could handle birthing a 10 pound baby. So at my 38 week appointment, 1 day shy of 39 weeks, my doctor gave in. He was on call that Sunday, so he told me to meet him at the hospital at 5 o'clock Sunday morning. I had bought 3 "Baby's First Christmas" outfits, a blanket, a bib, and a rattle. Sunday was the day AFTER Christmas! Just my luck:)
I got up at 3AM and started getting ready. The thought kept running through my mind that I was going to be a mommy that day. I was excited beyond belief! I arrived at the hospital about 10 minutes early. I was so lucky to have my family there with me. My grandpa even made the 2 hour trip to attend the birth of his first great grand baby! My aunt, that is more like my sister, was also there along with 2 of her girls. It was show time! They hooked my up to all of the monitors, and asked me if I was feeling okay. I was like "Yeah! I'm great! Why? What's wrong?". The nurse pointed to the monitor and said "You're having regular contractions. You're already in labor. It doesn't look like we need to induce!". What perfect timing:) I'm not exactly sure how long I had been in labor, but I was already dilated to a 4. Everything was smooth sailing until they broke my water. At that moment I thought I might choke the life out of someone if they didn't get me some drugs pronto! Lucky for me my mom worked in the anesthesiology department, so they were at my bedside in no time! Labor progressed pretty slowly, but I was okay with that. I was comfortable, resting on and off, and watching the news. December 26, 2004 was the day of the tsunami, so the news was keeping me occupied. At some point I started feeling like I was about to faint, and feeling pretty sick. The nurse came in and said my blood pressure had sky rocketed, and she needed permission from the doctor to give me something for it. Mind you, my blood pressure had been on the low side for my entire pregnancy, and even before that. She paged my doc 5 times with no response. Not only was this the day of my son's birth and the tsunami, it was also the day of the Cowboys and Redskins game...which is where my doctor was...watching the game in the ER with the other doctors that were supposed to be saving lives! My BP went down on it's own, and my doctor showed up after the game. He said "Well well...looks like it's time to push.". It all happened so fast. I had no clue my aunt was even in the room until I sat up to push, and saw her sitting in a recliner in the corner of the room looking up my birth canal! I know...a little TMI:) But her face is forever etched my memory. Her eyes were huge, and she had both of her hands over her mouth. 3 pushes and he was out. He was ghost white, limp, and not making a sound. I looked around the room at every one's faces, and they all had the most horrified look. The cord was wrapped tightly around his neck. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I don't remember saying anything, but my mom said I looked at her and said "He's not crying. He's not breathing.", and she just lost it. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. The doctor finally got him screaming, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds. Jaxon Connor was born December 26th, 2004, at 6:25 PM. Weighing in at 8 lbs 0.6 ozs. 2 pounds lighter than they estimated...thank God! So here he is...my first love...
December 26th, 2004...
3 years later...
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